A(completely fictitious) Report on Ergophobia.

Ergophobia  is classified as an abnormal and persistent fear of work, finding work or functioning at work.

Many scholars have been debating the recent spike in ergophobia among the young adult population. Often linked with “Peter Pan Syndrome” and “Failure to Launch Syndrome,” there is now great speculation among researchers that ergophobia is the most important issue facing this generation of young adults.  At the heart of this line of inquiry is the core belief that a young adult who fails to find profitable work or independent lodging is suffering from some form of social disorder. Psychological theory then, places the problem within the individual referring to it as a personal abnormality that cripples what would otherwise be normal social functioning.  This report seeks to counter the notions of personal fault that have hitherto dominated the field by proposing a variety of external factors that may lead to the development of ergophobia.

List of External Factors

1. Learned Helplessness –  As displayed with animals who stop attempting to resist electrocution once they believe it inevitable, it is possible that young adults who are repeatedly faced with rejection from job applications develop a case of Learned Helplessness where they assume that all of their attempts at employment will be similarly unsuccessful.
    
2. Negative Associations –  After the individual and his/her peers have developed unrealistically heightened expectations through reinforcement by teachers and parents it is only inevitable that upon observing the failures of peers the individual attributes similar expectations to his/herself.
    
3. Social Conditioning – With the increasing awareness of parental techniques and the importance of spending time with children young adults are finding increasing comfort in their home environment. This sense of security and happiness could lead to an individual’s reluctance to change his/her environment by leaving the family home and finding independence.
    
4. Evolutionary -  Evolutionary psychologists would undoubtedly argue that the increase in ergophobia is related to the close links between finding work and having to live independently of the family. From an evolutionary standpoint, this independence is seen as negative because group living ensures the highest level of security for the individual.

******

In more realistic news - I felt the need write this fictious report for multiple reasons. 1) Because it comforted me overmy current inability to find a part time job.  2) Because I was reading a psychological journal yesterday.  3)  Because I needed a break from studying  4) Because if I didn't I'd have had nothing else to say. I spent the last few days eating, sleeping and reading more literature than I know what to do with.

This is London! How d'ye like it?

Why waste your words when someone else has already summed up all you wish to say?

Here’s something for you to chew on – John Bancks’ “A Description of London” written in 1738. Funny how hundreds of years later his verses still capture the atmosphere of the true London.

A Description of London by John Bancks

Houses, churches, mixed together,
Streets unpleasant in all weather;
Prisons, palaces contiguous,
Gates, a bridge, the Thames irriguous.

Gaudy things enough to tempt ye,
Showy outsides, insides empty;
Bubbles, trades, mechanic arts,
Coaches, wheelbarrows and carts.

Warrants, bailiffs, bills unpaid,
Lords of laundresses afraid;
Rogues that nightly rob and shoot men,
Hangmen, aldermen and footmen.

Lawyers, poets, priests, physicians,
Noble, simple, all conditions:
Worth beneath a threadbare cover,
Villainy bedaubed all over.

Women black, red, fair and grey,
Prudes and such as never pray,
Handsome, ugly, noisy, still,
Some that will not, some that will.

Many a beau without a shilling,
Many a widow not unwilling;
Many a bargain, if you strike it:
This is London! How d'ye like it?

Birthdays and Babysitting

I don’t have time (or you folks don’t have the attention span) for me to go on and on about everything I’ve done over the past week.

I had a wonderful birthday thanks to Toni-Marie who spent the weekend at my apartment and made me breakfast on Saturday and Sunday. Over the course of the weekend she took me rowing on the lake in Regent's Park, walking up Primrose hill and wandering through markets in Camden, Petticoat Lane, Brick Lane and the flower market on Columbia Road. Talk about eventful!

And as an added birthday present – I got a part-time job babysitting. It’s only once in a while but I don’t mind. I’m babysitting a teenage girl and she’s actually pretty awesome. Though, admittedly, I feel like it would be easier to babysit a toddler than a teen. At least with toddlers you can come up with games to amuse them etc. with teens it’s just like…okay what do we talk about next?

In other news - I spent Thursday registering at the British Library and the Senate House Library. It was hot and the tube was even hotter and I made the poor decision of a grocery run but, by Thursday night what I had to show for it was a full fridge, two membership cards and a massive dehydration induced headache.

Finally, I come to this weekend. The hottest it has been at this time of year in London in 100 years….PICNIC! Tonz and I spent the day in Hyde Park lounging and munching on baguettes. Tomorrow we’ll probably head to a different park to continue filling our solar powered cells before the onslaught of winter.

What do you mean I’m an adult now? I don’t feel like an adult.

I have a curious predicament here. In some ways the reality of adulthood has only just hit me but in other ways I refuse to accept that I am an adult. I find it hard to believe that after adolescence comes adulthood. Surely someone must have come up with another step? What the hell have psychologists been doing with all their time? As a former psychology major I know how psych profiles work - tick the boxes and whichever category has more ticks is what you fall under. So, in light of that, I’ve come up with my own little list of reasons.

Reasons Ashley feels like an adult:

I am doing my Masters. Oh my God. In a few weeks I will be sitting in the Rare Books Room at thr British Library attempting to find a topic to research that no one else has ever done before.

I am living on my own (sort of) in London.

Almost everyone I’ve socialised with for the week is either 5, 14 or 35 years older than me.

Reasons Ashley does not feel like an adult:

I am jobless and completely dependent on my parents.

I am terrified of the idea that I may have to get married some day.

I miss playing with my Neopets.

So as you can tell, I’m kinda half-half on the adulthood issue. Crap.
Anyway, in slightly more relvant news, I have enrolled and am now officially a student at QMUL . There are SIX people total in my programme (though some of my classes will be a tiny bit bigger). Six people. Holy crap. My first class is on Monday and I already have hundreds of pages worth of reading to do. Sounds like a recipe for an exciting birthday.

And on that note, I’m off to go do more mind-numbing critical anaylsis. Yayyy.

Lines: or, New Beginnings

Some lines are made for crossing and some are there to make you stay put. However the scariest lines are the ones that exist to mark the places where you must ever so carefully dance back and forward and never lose your balance.

I suppose that little epigraph may seem rather unusual at the start of my new London blog (formerly the Dublin blog). I'm sure you're sitting there thinking "what the heck do lines have to do with London?" or some other, slightly less savory, word than "heck." Well, if you'll just give me a few minutes of your time I hope I can enlighten you.

I think any teenager knows that crossing lines is an inherently thrilling experience. It's the bold, daringness of it all - the thrilling newness of the experience and the self-satisfaction that comes from breaking the mold and trying something that was once nothing more than a dream. In some ways, that's what London is for a lot of people. It's the distant dream of a metropolitan life in a city where everyone dresses in their own style and hundreds of languages and accents whiz by you when you walk.

But for a city so completely heterogeneous, London can be shockingly conformist. There are some lines people just don't cross (and no I don't mean the yellow line in the tube). If you sit and observe for long enough you begin to notice an almost subconscious reconditioning. For example, London had two paces and two paces alone. There's the tourist pace (what I'd call a hasty stroll accompanied by a start-stopping action of a windshield wiper in a drizzle) and then there's the Londoner stroll - a fast-paced, wide-strided race down the street to see who's the best at avoiding other people while not actually ever looking at them.

Perhaps ND people will understand what I mean best when I compare it to the dining hall in the first two weeks of each academic year. The first few days are utter chaos but, eventually, the freshmen figure out which corners to cut close, which to swing wide and where to never stand waiting and slowly, order is once again restored. Well, a big city is a bit like that. Despite all your individuality, the city slowly pulls you into its flock of sheeple (or its horde of incredibly well-dressed zombies).

Finally that third line. I can't decide if that dancing is more akin to prancing or a light-footed Irish jig. I'm leaning towards the jig though. This line is only relevant because it's what my program currently feels like. It's the uncertainty of whether doing an MA in Literature is opening a world of options to me or pigeonholing me into a field where I will be doing a whole lot of nothing. Surrounded by people with actual professions I can't help but question my own choice of direction. All in all, I'm dancing on a line because I fear that crossing it will leave me with a feeling that Brad Pike describes as "pretending to be a real person who does real person things."
And that's a feeling that I don't think I could ever describe half as well as he does. So to conclude my blog I will roll all my fears anxieties up into a little hyperlink and let Brad Pike do the explaining for me.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/pretending-to-be-a-real-person-who-does-real-people-things/

Miss you all!
A

Post-mortem

Okay, I know I only asked for a few days but you know how things are when I get home! I go into a characteristically Ashley hiatus. BUT I'm back and I'm ready to talk about the biggest changes of this semester.

I think what I needed above all else was some time away from everyone to really figure myself out and Ireland was the best place to do that.

I had to bond with an entirely new set of people and I love everyone I became friends with. They're all spectacular people and each of them is totally unique and I would have never been able to grow so close to them if I didn't put my anxieties aside and just put myself out there.

One of my main problems is dealing with awkward or embarrassing situations, and this semester had many, many of those. I used to avoid trying new things because I was scared of failing them and being humiliated but seriously, everything was a new experience this semester! If I let that get in the way I would have never had any fun! While I'm still not great at dealing with them, I'm doing a lot better (I even went ice skating).

While I had made a lot of new friends, it was a little while before I could really confide in them. That left me in the rather difficult (but as it turns out, incredibly fortunate) position of having to deal with my problems on my own. This semester was sort of make or break for me and, thankfully, I met the challenge.

Speaking of challenges...
I'm finally assertive enough to stand up for myself when a stranger (or more accurately a crude male) makes me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that WILL have to change now that I'm back in Trinidad because we all know what will happen if I make the mistake of responding aggressively here...
Also, I won't lie and say that I've started standing up for myself in a friendship but at least I've figured out that it's something I need to do!

Okay, that's all I'm really comfortable disclosing right now but that's quite a lot so be happy!
I really hope that when I return to ND next semester things won't go back to what they used to be like.
What's the point of life if we don't make some sort of progress?

Home at last

Okay loves, please cut me some slack over the next few days. I just returned home and am completely exhausted. I have a lot of small stuff to deal with over the next few days (including calling the people in Customs and giving them one hell of a cuss out).

So, give me a few days to catch myself and then I'll try to do a post mortem of my semester abroad. It will, hopefully, be worth reading.

For those of you in Trinidad - if you don't hear from me soon please don't be offended, I don't even have any phone numbers right now. Just give me a call and we'll arrange a lime.