Thursday, June 17, 2010

Post-mortem

Okay, I know I only asked for a few days but you know how things are when I get home! I go into a characteristically Ashley hiatus. BUT I'm back and I'm ready to talk about the biggest changes of this semester.

I think what I needed above all else was some time away from everyone to really figure myself out and Ireland was the best place to do that.

I had to bond with an entirely new set of people and I love everyone I became friends with. They're all spectacular people and each of them is totally unique and I would have never been able to grow so close to them if I didn't put my anxieties aside and just put myself out there.

One of my main problems is dealing with awkward or embarrassing situations, and this semester had many, many of those. I used to avoid trying new things because I was scared of failing them and being humiliated but seriously, everything was a new experience this semester! If I let that get in the way I would have never had any fun! While I'm still not great at dealing with them, I'm doing a lot better (I even went ice skating).

While I had made a lot of new friends, it was a little while before I could really confide in them. That left me in the rather difficult (but as it turns out, incredibly fortunate) position of having to deal with my problems on my own. This semester was sort of make or break for me and, thankfully, I met the challenge.

Speaking of challenges...
I'm finally assertive enough to stand up for myself when a stranger (or more accurately a crude male) makes me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that WILL have to change now that I'm back in Trinidad because we all know what will happen if I make the mistake of responding aggressively here...
Also, I won't lie and say that I've started standing up for myself in a friendship but at least I've figured out that it's something I need to do!

Okay, that's all I'm really comfortable disclosing right now but that's quite a lot so be happy!
I really hope that when I return to ND next semester things won't go back to what they used to be like.
What's the point of life if we don't make some sort of progress?

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